I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
