Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
