So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
