Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
