I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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