I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
