what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
