I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
