Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
