ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's like a pop up book from hell.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
