I wannas sexs uuuuu
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
