toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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