she smelled like a LAN party
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
