Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
