Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize