Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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