He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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