the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
