a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize