at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
