i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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