Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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