STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
