Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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