Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
