I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
