Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
