Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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