Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
