tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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