i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize