You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i love accidental penises.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
