Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize