When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
