They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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