Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
