I must be too annoying 4 u.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
