I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
