I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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