Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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