just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
