So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
