ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
