THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
