what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
