i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
