I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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