Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
