She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
