I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
