I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
