Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
even my farts smell like vagina
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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