The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
