just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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