im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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