come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
