He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize