piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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