You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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