So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
