Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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