I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
